February 18, 2010.
This is the scariest day of my life.
In just 2 months, I experienced a lot of extraordinary "adventures". At my age, I don't know if I should consider myself as a late-bloomer, but boy, I'm so brave enough to do these things on my own.
So wait, what are these things? Massage Parlors for Gay guys.
I've tried a lot of 'em last December and January.. a couple of hits and misses, moments I enjoyed and regretted.
So what's up with February 18?
I had my last "encounter" last Feb 10, then I started feeling very different. Then I started reading a lot of stuff on the internet, and I felt the stress and paranoia that I might have THE virus. HIV.
I asked and emailed a lot of people, sharing to them what I've been feeling, and they all said that I should get the Test, just to relieve the stress that's been bugging me everyday and every night.
So that day, Feb 18, I met up with this Fil-Am gay guy, Jake, who volunteered to accompany me during the Test. We went to HP Diagnostic Center (Kalaw), and I was told that the result will be out after 6 hours. We went back to Jake's condo, chat, watched some movies and tv shows, and talked about everything about life. He assured me that if ever the result will be positive, he will be there beside me, and he will help me, since he's hiv+ too.
It was the scariest 6 hours of my life. And the time finally arrived. We went back to Kalaw to get the result. The nurse handed me the enveloped. I sat beside Jake and opened it. Non-reactive! Oh God! I'm so thankful to God that he answered my prayers. I'm so relieved, and I'm so touched when I saw Jake teary-eyed because of the good news. We hugged each other and bid goodbye. I thanked him so much, coz he really helped me to feel very safe during that darkest hours of my life.
But the thing is, even if I am negative now, I should still go back there after 3 months and take the test again. Just to be sure.
From now on, I'll be very very careful with my "adventures". I will control myself and always remind myself of those dreadful 6 hours.
And to all of you, have fun, but always be safe!! :)
6 (na) komento:
I've been there too, and now older and wiser, I don't want to go through it again. No man, no dick, no sex is worth the future. Even if I am negative, I consider myself a survivor after what I went through... parang cancer survivor.
This May I'll be taking the test again.. hopefully, I'll survive again..
may bagong blog ka na pala horcrux!
so ano result ng tests??
and btw if u dont mind me asking, ano ung symptoms/naramdaman mo dun sa sinasabi mong "feeling different"??
hope everythings good though
:-)
Hi ujuj!!! I remember you hehe.. yup new blog.. pero di ganung kaactive.. kainis kasi yung wordpress..
Nung nagpatest ako nung Feb,, non-reactive naman.. "feeling different" is yung sa tiyan.. parang masakit.. akala ko doarrhea na.. turned out acidic ako.. tapos feeling ko may sore throat ako.. may kulani.. puro feeling.. pero mukhang ok naman.. pray for me! hehe
This May, I'll be taking the test again.. pero ayun, nakikipagsex pa rin ako.. pero madalang na.. and safe sex lagi.. Hopefully negative pa rin.. so far.. wala pa naman akong nararamdaman.. sana talaga tuloy-tuloy na.. kaya ikaw, pakabait ka ha! hehe
just dont hire nalang. mahirap talaga ngayon. tumataas ang rate ng hiv.
@Matt hirap kasi eh.. hirap pigilin ang tawag ng alam.. hindi ko alam kung pano :(
minsan nga nagsasariling sikap na lang ako.. hirap talaga
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